"May the Fourth Be with You"

Incidentally, and what I explain in a quick, the above phrase was required, and printed on receipts, at the Fireworks Store-Soulcrushing, no?Anyway, I am trying to decide how best to celebrate.Fireworks are out of the question, having spent 5 years hawking Communist made pyro to red blooded Americans (oh the deliciousness of that-red made for red blood?), so I don't give a hot fuck about silver chrysanthemums, green peony's or wolfpack mortars. So what does one do?

I have 18 Modelo Especials in my fridge at this moment, awaiting my burning hand to unleash the cold cold mexican goodness into my parchment, however virtual, and this, too, is tradicional (take that!)....

Digression: The Fireworks store I worked at, first as a stocker and then as a manager, was very near to liquor stores just across the border in Indiana, and frequently, patrons would park in our lot, ice down an obscene amount of beer, move the cases of Early Times to the front of the truck bed, and buy around a grand worth of explosives, all while drinking in said parking lot, surreptiously, and blasting .38 Special out of the cab. All American Fun. Made me think of that joke: "What's a Redneck's last words? Hey Y'all...watch this!".

Even now, as I live in a city where aerial pyro is a bad idea (isn't that any city?), I can hear bottlerockets screaming outside my window, and wonder whether anybody has thought about the why of the day, especially since we are surrounded by sheep in patriot's clothing, the true revolutionary intent of the Fourth of July. Like "Support the Troops" slogans on Miller Lite signs, I suspect it means very little to most, and it assuages any guilt about not doing jack shit about either the troops or the revolution.

So, this day, as I contemplate those tasty cervezas, I'll enjoy this classic in revolutionary spirit, contemplate the austerity and beauty of this revolutionary act, and hope that we can evolve into better people and a better nation, an intelligent nation.

awww fuck.