The Cincinnati Bengals have implimented this thing called the Jerk Line this season. This is a phone number you can call if you are at the Paul Brown Stadium for the game, and there is somebody around you acting a fool.
This is obviously designed for folks who bring their young kids to the game, and are offended by the drunken behavior of some people.
This Jerk line got it's first test run last night for the Bengals first preseason game against the Redskins. The line got about 100 calls about anything and everything, including some calls complaining about what jerks the Shitsburg Steelers are. You call this line, and an officer shows up at the seat of the suspected convict.
This fucking thing is not going to work. It is a football game, and you are going to have that. There is no reason to be bringing a kid under the age of 13 or 14 to a NFL football game. My dad brought me to my first football game when I was 15 years old, and he made a point to tell me that there would probably be some loud language that would be harsh. That is just the way it is.
I just talked to a friend of mine who was down at the game last night. She told the story of a couple of fans that were a few rows in front of them wearing Browns Jersey's, and cheering for the Bengals every good play that they made. No problem. Then a guy close by came over and said to the two guys, "What the hell are you guys doing here in those Jersey's and rooting for the Bengals?" Just a little fun razing. .....still no problem. Then moments later, to cops came up and arrested the guy and took him away. After this went down, everybody in thier section was talking about the Jerk line, and nobody was standing up cheering anymore in fear of being arrested.
That is fucking bullshit!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This damn thing is not going to work, but just to make sure, I think for the next game folks should flood this line as much as possible with complaints about how the Steelers are such cheap shot mother fuckers, and they should all be arrested because they made thier kids cry last year.
If you would like to go to a family friendly sporting event, take your kids to one of the 81 home games that baseball teams play each year. Don't take them to one of 8 home games that an NFL teams play each year, and then bitch about it.
This is just one man's take on this, so take it for what it is.
That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Ever been to a sporting event in Philly? jesus - the entire stadium would be arrested. For every sport, not just the Eagles games.
ReplyDeleteCan you call and complain about the guy in the owner's box?
It's not going to last too long, I suspect. It's going to be overwhelmed by prank calls. I heard even Chris Collinsworth called it from the studio.
ReplyDeleteI heard about that on NPR and was thinking, that is soooo Cincinnati. Once again Cincinnati is a punchline in the national media.
ReplyDeleteJust when I thought they realized that enthusiasm was good thing, and quit fucking with the tailgaters...
ReplyDeleteI predict I will be escorted out of the stadium the next game, because no doubt I will be seated next to some yuppie prick who won't want his kid to hear me scream "Kill that fucker!".
But The Deacon touches on a larger issue: Where is the adults only space in this country? Why does every single fun activity for us taxpaying kids have to be geared around somebody else's contraceptive failure? Why does everything have to be "kid friendly"?
i assume you saw this... nice bunch of choir boys you've got down in Cinci. ;-)
ReplyDeleteoh, is that the point of NFL football teams? as William Clay Ford in Detroit says, "Just fill the seats, suckers...."
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite memories as a kid was the annual Ohio State-Michigan game. My mom would scurry us out of the house and keep us out all day long, shopping and doing really fun kid-stuff.
ReplyDeleteShe would always tell us that she just couldn't tolerate dad's language, on that one day.
Football games are for grown-ups. Sometimes even just watching football is for grown-ups.