The Bitter Truth: My Appeal to America concerning The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, The Status Quo, and Half Price Appetizers.

Indiana and North Carolina.

Did you ever think it would go on this long?

I sure as hell didn't, and we still haven't voted in KY. I hope to God that my vote is perfunctory, that the right person for our future, the man who is the future, will have already sewn this up. Somehow, I doubt it.

It seems to me, now, that the senator from Illinois is already running against John McCain, yet only the people's media seems to notice this fact, among other facts.

I hate to break it to the Hillary folks, who I believe by and large are good and noble people, but Clinton's courting of very media outlets who ground the country to halt over a blowjob, who tried to have Bill Clinton impeached for said blowjob, can only lead me to one of two conclusions:

1. The Clintons are power mad, willing to do anything to win.
   
2. The Clintons are part of the vast right wing conspiracy.
   

The first part is self evident: For the last four months, we have watched the former President and the former First Lady (and First Daughter) debase themselves to such a point that, at times, Bill Clinton has transformed into the Smeagol of 21^st Century Politics, cravenly holding on to power, cowering, foaming, lashing out. If I had told you a year ago that Bill Clinton, the first vote I ever cast, from a place called Hope would be the guy that says "Fuck Hope. I believe in a place called Cynicism". Who would have believed that Bill Clinton, our first "black" President, could almost completely destroy his support in the community that loved him as one of their own? And that's just Bill.

Hillary, whose negatives are set in granite by this point, went from the media lock for the Nomination to a horse race to getting trounced. Yet, we have been treated to a constant stream of tears, race baiting, out and out lies, moving the goal posts, attempts to thumb the scale and, now, the bait and switch. Hillary Clinton on O'Reilly? Hillary Clinton hanging with Richard Mellon Scaife? But these people are the ones who tried to destroy you? These are the people for whom their ideologically driven pathological hatred of you, Democrats, and any sense of Social Justice made them willing to stop the country, beating their fists and kicking the floor like a petulant child, until they got what they wanted: Retribution for Nixon. These are the people you are pandering to?

To be fair, of course, Obama has also talked to Fox News, a move which, I understand as an attempt to reach the dittoheads, still baffles me, and, frankly leaves me a little queasy, and feeling a little dirty.

Of course, if this were just an issue right wing media and the pandering of Presidential hopefuls, we could probably just leave it there, calling it a "necessary evil". However, the difference between the two is an ever widening chasm, for while Obama may go on Fox, and, when there, he will still be Obama, Clinton's turn to the right is palpable, and, as a result, these outlets are cheerleading her. Huh?

When Hillary Clinton announced her candidacy, I was filled with dread, because, with the Imperial Presidency of Bush, which has expanded executive powers beyond anything imagined at the founding of this Republic, it would be of the utmost importance that our next President roll those back, and re-establish the balance. In other words, avoid the awesome temptation to try and do some good with this power, because there is no good that can come of this unbalance. When I thought of Hillary Clinton, I thought about the Nineties, and I realized there was no goddamned way she would restore balance to the force. Case closed. Of course, little did I know she would articulate her this dramatically when she said she would unilaterally obliterate Iran if they attacked Israel, and that she wanted to establish a NATO type organization in the Middle East. I mean, when Pat Buchanan foams at the mouth and reminds us that the President does not have that power, that it is unconstitutional, he is correct and true-under the old paradigm. However, Bush swept that away. Nuking Iran…it's the stuff that Bill Kristol vainly attempts masturbation to. WTF?

Couple this with the Karl Rove inspired campaign, kissing John McCain's Ass, reminding everybody what a hero this guy is (and he is). But Audie Murphy was a hero too, and I don't think anybody thought that this made him eminently qualified to be President.

It's hard to get a read on this John McCain, at least in terms of his grasp of the world around him. Certainly, being a POW would make one view humanity through a certain lens, but I would think it would make one more likely to avoid war at all cost, yet McCain seems intent on continuing the disastrous policies and apocalyptic rhetoric of George W. Bush, the man who so thoroughly smeared him in 2000 with the worst sort of whisper campaign imaginable (NVA collaboration? Bi-racial love children? A wife addicted?)-you know, the sort of thing The Clintons did only months ago, and in the same state (I guess there's just something about South Carolina, ya know…).

What's more is the famous pic of Bush and McCain, with Mr. Straighttalk literally embracing the man who tried to destroy him, almost in a thank you. Indeed, Mr. Straighttalk/The Maverick/Johnny Badass War Hero, cravenly clinging to a man who, while McCain was behind enemy lines, was hovering up horse lines like fucking Tony Montana, like he owed Jr. something? Thank you, George, for sullying my honor, and may I kiss you for your hard work. It is in a moment like that words like integrity should be used, not in reference to some bullshit god huckster with an ax to grind, and a refusal to throw the motherfucker under the bus.

No.

Embracing the man who has single handedly (well, with Cheney's permission) wrecked the economy, wrecked the Constitution, wrecked our credibility and moral position, and wrecked the lives of tens of thousands of Americans, and untold Iraqis is craven. It is not honorable; it is ignoble. All that this proves is that McCain, ever the soldier, will eat shit on order. Embracing the dishonorable does not prove your honor or integrity. It does, however, have a tendency to get on you? Did ya get any on ya?

Of course, and only an idiot would tell people that we may have to brace ourselves for perpetual total war, especially when it doesn't have to be so, and especially especially when said person doesn't even know the difference between Sunni and Shia, or the role that Iran has played. One would think that the fear of a Persian Planet would have mitigated the unholy blood lust for Iraq, but hey, let's think about the future, the world of paranoia and death to come. HOO-RAH.

Actually, the worse part is that Mr. Straighttalk, even with his ignorance of the region, just told you that this is a War For Oil. Yes, your children, your husbands and wives, your brothers and sisters, friends and neighbors, are fighting and dying for your SUV. Our SUV's…

Excuse the hyperbolic flourish. We aren't fighting and dying for your SUV. No, it's that we are fighting and dying so that Oil companies can continue to sodomize you at the pump, and at home. Thank God it's not Winter, right? Think about next winter, will ya, for a second? Makes the sphincter jumpy, no?

Certainly, Mr. Straighttalk did me a favor: I was beginning to think that every time one of these ditto heads called me a moonbat and told me to put my tinfoil hat back on because I said these whole thing is about Oil, that maybe they had a point. I began to think "Geez, buddy, calm down! Maybe they're right? Our government wouldn't sacrifice its own people for the interests of the godmoneyed few?". So Senator Maverick…thank you!

Naturally, he claims he misspoke, and that he was referring to Gulf War I. Oh…I thought that was about the integrity of Kuwaiti border and the sovereignty of the Kuwaiti Potentate, and protecting our friends the Saudis…so all of that was bullshit?

Was bullshit, and is, bullshit? If you buy Captain Maverick McStraightfrombush's explanation, I've got some WMD's in and around Tikrit you might be interested in.

So what's the explanation to all of this? What are you going on about here?

It's time we reframe this election, it's true meaning. I am talking both epistemologically and ontologically. It needs to be said, and dammit, I'm just the magic user to do it.

You have three candidates; two Democrats and one Republican (actually, two: Let's not forget Don Paul, The Man From Lake Jackson, tilting at the Antebellum, but anyway). Two of these candidates are extremely well known, one, they claim, has not been vetted properly. This candidate is exciting and fresh, with a unique perspective on the world. The people are excited by the prospect of finally turning a corner in regard to the pitched ideological battles of the last 40 years, and working toward a new future.

The other two have a vested interest in discrediting this upstart. Hillary Clinton and John McCain are R ARE the STATUS QUO. Don't believe the bullshit about this change or that change from these two. They intend to keep things just as they are: Narrowly ideological, with a pretense at their difference.

The media, since Reverend Wrong came out with the hatchet (and how come nobody seems to give a shit that a Hillary supporter booked this asshole's media tour?) have given The Status Quo a pass. Both of them? Blood for Oil? So? The Obliteration of Iran? No big deal? Let's talk about the "Goddamn America"-but only if Obama's, right? Since the Status Quo are both associated with religious crackpots who have made offensive and hateful comments about this Republic. The media needs the status quo because its easy and digestible. The characters are set, man. The themes are easy, the dialogue heated and exciting and, the best part of all, everything that happens tends toward more bad news, and that, my friends, sells like hotcakes. Except for now, because hotcakes are too goddamned expensive, too.

If it isn't the wacky Reverend, then we are talking about 30 bucks. Yup, the Federal Gas Tax Holiday, the most inane bullshit idea ever to deal with the hosing of America. Thirty fucking bucks. If you think this is all wonderful, ask yourself "How much are tires now? How much is a new suspensión?" because your trip to Applebees for half price appetizers may end in leaving the front end of your car in a giant pothole. Come on, these two, with this weak ass idea, are the political equivalent of the guy who hits you in the parking lot of Meier's, and want's to pay you cash to not file a claim…"But my bumper's hanging off?"

"Hey, come on, my premiums will go up".

There is an old adage that if you lie down with dogs, you get fleas. I feel like we need a new one: If you get in bed with the Rightwing, you get the herpes.

Herpes, of course, is a gift into perpetuity. The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy has given us so many gifts, and not just Fox News and George Bush. It has given us our Status Quo, for both Clinton and McCain have been scarred by it, in some cases, by their own volition. Both of them seem to suffer from outbreaks, or are in the throes of a flaming outbreak. In their ideological battles, the desire to prevail is so great that they would willingly sell anybody and everybody out. For McCain, it was the last shred of integrity and honor, sold out to the NeoCons, The Dittoheads, the lot. For Clinton, it would seem that she has forgotten who the bad guys are, and has decided that her sense of entitlement, her own constructed egoistic claim to history, means that she will do anything to win, even if she alienates millions, and burns down her own party to do it. If you get in bed with the Rightwing, you are the rightwing. Your sores fester for the world to see, a constant reminder of your historical blindness, your pomposity, and your cowardly pandering. You kiss enough ass, and your breath smells like shit.

So, as I end this missive, I would like my fellow citizens of these United States to not be fooled. Do not think that McCain is different from Bush, because he can't be. Do not fool thyself with the underdog bullshit of that NeoCon in a Progressive Pantsuit, Hillary Clinton. A vote for one of them is a vote for the other, and nothing changes.

If you don't like the way the country is going, then really do something about it. Leave your baggage at the door. Vote for Barack Obama.

Return to the Creed of our Founding.

Vote for Obama.

Update, Primary Day: Ron Paul?!?:

"Instead, Paul favors Sen. Barack Obama because of positions on foreign policy. 'But that's doesn't mean that's an endorsement,' Paul quickly added."

I have no earthly idea what is going to happen. I'm in knots...