Tonight will probably be the most anticipated, nationally televised NFL preseason game ever, and the Wizard and I will be there.
Carson Palmer will start for the Cincinnati Bengals for the first time since major knee surgery in January. The Bengals will be taking on the Green Bay Packers on ESPN's Monday Night Football from Paul Brown Stadium.
The joint will be rocking and electric for the introductions, and pregame fun. It is proper edicate to hush hush while the home team offence is taking the snap, but when Carson Palmer lines up under center to take the first snap, I am very sure you may be able to hear a fucking pin drop in Paul Brown Stadium this evening.
Very cool you guys will be there. I hope Brat has him throwing on the very first play. Please be healthy...
ReplyDeleteThe operative question: Who will draw the first call to the "Jerk Line" -- Deacon or The Wizard?
ReplyDeleteNot this guy. I will be a good boy. I am going on my sisters season tickets, and they will take the tickets away for the year if I mess up. My sister would not like that very much.
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean you're not going to crank call the jerk line?
ReplyDelete"most anticipated nationally televised preseason game ever"
ReplyDeleteUgh - it is way too early to get too excited about the National Football League, my cincinatti friends...especially considering the current status of your Reds?!
(hoping carson has a nice recovery though. i've always been a sucker for cool helments, and the Bengals are at the top of my list.)
I, too, am travelling on another's season ticket, so I will be well behaved...more or less.
ReplyDeleteGuess I'll have sneak my camels out in the concourse...
Katie G: We're happy for the Reds, really...
ReplyDeleteBut Football's been my thing for a long, long time.
fair enough...i do understand those obesessions with traditionally subpar teams.
ReplyDeletedo behave yourself, lest someone label you a "jerk" (although, you should feel at liberty to smack the cheesehead off anyone who's actually wearing one. i mean, seriously?? who buys and adorns a block of cheese proudly? i can't believe some mom and pop shop vendor is producing those things and probably making a killing)
I will behave: Generally, I tend towards funny rather than aggressive.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I had a "yuppie" Dad yell at me for the crime of yelling "Kitna is a fucking idiot" at the Buffalo game a couple of years back. He got up in my face and threatened to call security. I even apologized, but he continued to remind me he had an 8 year old with him...Ahem.
Then there was the time I was at a very snowy and cold game, and I had on an old Soviet Rabbit fur army hat, with hammer and sickle (Russians know something about cold weather, after all) and two guys threatened to kick my ass.
After all, I'm "never" a jerk.
The difference between the Reds and Bengals is that the Bengals are legitimate contenders for the postseason.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone really believe the same about the Reds? I know I don't.
Secondly... "edicate"??? You need to go back to school for more ettiquation!
You should have gotten in that yuppy pimp's face and screamed, welcome to the jungle motherfucker - and that goes for your kid too!!! At least he would have gotten what he expected. Sounds like he might have been disappointed by your gentlemanly behavior.
ReplyDeletewho else in the NL is going to contend other than the Reds?Seriously - there's the Mets (who i hate) and everyone else. you've got as good a shot as any if they can get themselves into the playoffs.
ReplyDeleteat the Michigan gift store i worked at in college...we used to sell black soviet-era fur caps with a block M for Michigan insignia on the front. i only sold about 3 of them in my four years there. all to eastern european grad students.
We are the Fifth Column. That's what I call a Michigan Militia!
ReplyDeleteCarson was AWSOME!!!!! Great first half. The Bengals put up 30 points in the first half, and Palmer put up a 136.9 passer rating.
ReplyDeleteI could not find the Wizard after the game started, and I could not get a hold of him. I left at half time, and I am glad I did. I saw what I wanted to see.
The Bengals are going to the fucking Super Bowl!!!!!!
Pretty spectacular. Carson is the man.
ReplyDeleteAnd I didn't get arrested.
"welcome to the jungle motherfucker"
ReplyDeleteThat's beautiful.
About three years ago, some old bastard yelled at us for standing up and cheering while the Ravens were at third-and-short deep in their own territory. My friend told him to shut up, and called him an old bastard, and then he threw water at us when we turned our backs.
I'm sure he'll be rounded up during the Coming Douchebag Purge.