"If there's a new way/ I'd be the first in line/ It had BETTER work this time"

just another hilariously inept Wizard photoshop creation.

As we hear the low drums of death on the horizon, as Bush Co. work out their war jollies in an apocalyptic circle jerk with certain members of the alleged "opposition party"-which has, incidentally, failed to crawl from the slime and grow a vertebrae, congressionally speaking- as well as the fucking ghouls in their own patriotism, over the new Eurasian Front (or is it Eastasian Front? I get so confused), I can't help but have the hook from this metal classic (skip to the bottom of my playlist) rattling around in my head.

Peace sells...but who's buying?

Certainly not the presumptive front-runner, the media annointed, darling of the G.O.P, Hillary Clinton, going as Vic Rattlehead this Halloween, who has voted, with frightening consistency, like a Neo-Con. She's talking diplomacy, but, hey, she's caved time and time again to the NeoCons-almost to the point that one would think she's trying to tell us something. Certainly, a google search using the terms Hillary Clinton Neo Con would illustrate that I am not alone...

I don't think Hillary is a NeoCon, though. That would mean that she had some core ideological notion of governance. No, Hillary is an opportunist and naked careerist, simple as that. Only a careerist would make the argument that dumbass George Bush fooled 'em into voting for war in Iraq (and will likely fool her into voting for a war with Iran).

It's funny, because to many on the right, Hillary is the embodiment of socialism. Of course, they would be wrong, just as its wrong to call Hillary "liberal". Hillary's nothing but power hungry, gladhanding the corporate intersts, giving the HMO's a big sloppy one with her health care proposal, raking in the big corporate bucks.

It is this kind of politics, from the ostensible political binary, that has gotten us here in the first place. How do you think the "c.e.o" President stole the election in the first place, and who's interests does he serve?

Do you think a Hillary Clinton presidency will be any different? Really?

I know at this point that my near and dear Democrat friends and readers think that I've retreated into some infantile Green Party rhetoric, but dammit, at what point do we say enough's enough? We have a President now who is trying to throw our Republic over the cliff, and I'm expected to get excited about someone who is standing with her toes curled over its precipice?

The last eight years have shown exactly what the half measures of the Democratic party have gotten us, the Carville/Nosferatu Triangulation Doctrine: The Forces of The Right Wing, the extreme Right Wing, have knocked our dicks in the dirt as they went three, four, five measures the other direction. Our unwillingness to upset the apple cart has insured more of us will go without apple pie this holiday season, and for the forseeable future.

As of right now, I don't have a candidate-still. I was kind of feeling Obama, but that "homo-saved" reverend, who appeals to the basest of the base-superstitious bigots who happen to be black and democrats has left me with an uneasy feeling, one I'm not sure I can live with.

I don't know...

UPDATE: Hillary drops the ball, and, if you have a penis, it's your fucking fault.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Hillary, who once claimed to be "the feminist" is a disgrace to feminisms here and around the world.. She gets called on her bullshit, and its everybody's fault but hers. Blaming everybody else-sounds vaguely like some BushCol. shit to me.

Absinthe-ence

As usual, Candidate Colbert hits it way out of the park.

Shit...

I don't know if this song is about me as a Bengals fan or the team in general, or what but it's gonna be a llllooooonnnnnggggg year.

Symptom of the Universe

Cuz its Friday.

The Biden Plan?

Christ, when Joe Biden becomes a prophet, cadybar the door:

"Turkish warplanes and helicopter gunships reportedly pounded Kurdish rebel positions along the Turkey-Iraq border Wednesday, broadening military operations against insurgents amid persistent fears Turkey will launch a major offensive inside Iraq."

I mean, its crazy, but this shit may play out like Joe said. That, or the press is going to have a field day with his alter ego, Professor Chaos...

The World as a Stage

It's always nice to see some inspired protest, interesting, Digger-style guerilla theater when speaking truth to power, especially when the power are, in fact, a group of total ideological fuck-ups. Here's a woman copping a Lady MacBeth showing how its done for one of the principal players in the NeoCon production of McDEATH™, a tragedy about how a group of well connected mercenaries seized power and destroyed the most powerful nation on earth...

maybe.

"Civil Rights" (scratch that): Conflicted...

Are you kidding me?

I was beginning to feel, nay, to think that Barack Obama might be exactly what we need. A fresh start. Now this:

"'I strongly believe that African Americans and the LGBT community must stand together in the fight for equal rights. And so I strongly disagree with Reverend McClurkin's views and will continue to fight for these rights as President of the United States to ensure that America is a country that spreads tolerance instead of division, the statement added."

I can't believe that Obama, who has a real chance to be President, would pander to the anti homosexual sentiment in the black community. I remember when the Defense of Marriage bill was up in Ohio in 'O4, and people were shocked that Shuttlesworth supported the bill. I wasn't shocked at all: If it comes between reality and superstition, superstition wins, because, at the end of the day, anybody and everybody can misread the Bible and take it to heart.

I'm just a little sad that Barack, this generations Bobby Kennedy, the hope of a new tomorrow, choses to fetter himself with bigots.

Say it ain't so. Say it ain't so.

Update: The question begs, and continues, to beg. Obama's invitation to a homosexual saved, as it were, to appear on stage with him, help him deliver his message, would seem to indicate a kind of tacit endorsement on Obama's part of the kind of ideology Rev. McClurkin has talked himself into. Doesn't it? I mean, the guy sang for Bush at the fucking GOP Convention.

Certainly, McClurkin doesn't see his worldview, or the the professed truth of his ministry, as "anti-gay", claiming that his remarks were taken out of context. Yet in his 2002 essay "No Longer a Victim", yet the by-line can be thought of as kind thesis for the piece:

"Pastor Donnie McClurkin was raped at the age of 8 and spent years wrestling with homosexuality. Today he's telling the world that true freedom can be found in Christ."

McClurkin goes on to tell the world that his Uncle, a pederast, molested him and turned him gay, he struggle amidst other "broken" people, but only Jesus can save you... "In just seven days, I can make you a man..."

Looking past what makes this idea, at first glance, so hateful-its equivalent being Ann Coulter's insistence that Jews need to be "perfected", except that this one works the rigid assumptions of Patricarchies as God, as opposed to Coulter's invocation of Blood libel and deicide. Both of these "readings" pinion on right and true superstitions of the early Middle Ages. In Europe-is the empirical idea that becoming a homosexual just happens one day, or you wake up, and decided to be "gay", and you can unlearn it, dammit, and get right with the Lord. John Ridley seems to agree with me on this...

Look, I know Obama added an openly gay minister, and that will be laudable only if, somehow, we can have serious dialogue about faith and sexuality: This might be a moment to do so, but I can't help but feel that it is an attempt to deflect. I hope I'm wrong about that.

I hope I'm wrong about Obama, but on behalf of my gay and lesbian friends and family, my transgendered and intergendered friends, on behalf of my sense of human rights...if they are disrespected, I am disrespected;if they are not free, then I am not free.

Update to the Update: Dave points out that fighting injustice must be total, and that stereotypes help the Right Wing.

Cross Ownership

With the war, the election, Ellen's dog crisis and ravenous staph infections, we sometimes forget that the war on reality still rages on:

"Nationally, the hot news last week was the head of the Federal Communications Commission again trying to fast-track new rules allowing greater concentration of media ownership. This is a big deal, with potential local ramifications."

Typically, I would defer these matters to the Mons. Sheperd, who has been fighting this fight for years, but I found it interesting that for something so important and crucial, transparent government, or, rather, reclaiming transparent government, only Obama and Biden see to give a fuck.

Then, of course, there's this.

Priorities

If there was any doubt as to who runs things in this country anymore: "Bush Asks Congress for $1.4 Billion to Fight Drugs in Mexico" .

God knows how many no bid contracts are attached to this thing, but I can tell you this: We have more important things to worry about than drugs.

Except that's always been the point, right?

Thunderdome of Stupid, part ???

Oh yeah...in the throes of my orange and black anxiety, I almost forgot that GOP was having its MYOPALOOSA for the Values Voter...

...how about valuing human rights, the earth and health care for the poor...oh...you just want your kids to pray in school, and stop Al Quaeda's newest weapon of mass destruction: Titty Bars and Porn stores...way to think it through...

Anyway, The incomparable Katie G. has analysis on Reagan stroke Values Pissing Contest. Gentlemen, unzip and search...

"The GOP Debates are AWESOME!!
All of these guys are jackasses...all of 'em.

A few highlights:
First topic: Who's More Conservative???
Fred Thompson: Nice, making fun of Ted Kennedy's weight.

Rudy: Fred has his problems too - single biggest obstacle to tort reform. Voted against almost anything that would make our legal system fair. He actually just sighted the guy who sued for 54million dollars pair of pants. RUDY Wants to limit litigation???

Fred: He definitely got some talent coaches since the last debate - he at least sounds better tonight.

Rudy: NYC let illegal immigrants report crime, and put their kids into school....but OTHER than that, we reported every illegal immigrant.

McCain: Radical Islamic Extremism! (yes, first use of the word!) I lead for patriotism, I didn't manage for profit! (Slammed Romney)

Romney's first words: I fought FOR the death penalty! Who will be able to build the house that Ronald Reagan built!

McCain: wow, slamming Romney - "you've been spending last year foolin' the American people" - nice job John.


Up next: Gays!!
Ron Paul: Gay marriage - not for the Constitution. State shouldn't be involved, marriage is a religious ceremony. All voluntary associations should be protected by the law. We don't need to argue over the definition. An amendment to the Constituion seems so unnecessary.

Romney: consequences of gay marriage fall far beyond the relationship of man and a woman. they affect our kids, i wanna make sure that kids have a mom and a dad! National standard for marriage! We don't have unelected judges - liberals - standing up to say ok, you have to have same sex marriage!

Rudy: I don't think we need a Constitutional amendment at this point....If a lot of states, 3 4 5 6 states, if we have a "real problem" then we should have a Constitutional amendment. I did 210 weddings as mayor of NYC, they are all men and women.

New topic: Abortion!!!
Huckabee: I'm interested in fighting FOR the American people!! There's some real issues we need to be fighting for. Sanctity of human life - one of the defining issues of our culture and civilization. Quoting the Declaration of Indepence to support his pro-life stance.

Fred: My private law practice, asked me to do a little work, so i made a few calls...no big deal.

Just giving the other guys time to talk:
Duncan Hunter: Castro is bad, Kennedy didn't help the freedom fighters. Reagan brought freedom to El Salvador - and now those guys are fighting side by side in Iraq!! Yay for El Salvador!!!!

Health care costs:
McCain: I don't like socialized medicine.

Ron Paul: Save money, stop bankrupting the country, stop rewarding the corporations.... (Ron, you say good things, but make little sense in this area)

Romney:

......ok, i'm bored....i'll have to watch the rest some other time.....thankfully, i have Tivo!".

Everybody

An excellent post over at Kos:

"We all have our tales, our sagas, and situations. However, sadly, we see our own lives as separate from the anxieties of others. They are not. We are united, whether we are member of a labor Union or not. We are citizens of the United States."

Read please.

School Vouchers

What? You don't say...these vouchers are screwing the kids over?

"Students in Ohio and Wisconsin are also taking part in similar programs. But in the District, the report says, instead of giving poor children access to better learning environments, program officials put children at risk by failing to certify whether all of the participating schools had the required operating permits.

In a random sample of 18 schools reviewed by the GAO, two lacked occupancy permits, and four lacked permits needed for buildings used for educational purposes. At least seven of the 18 schools were certified as child development centers but not as private schools. In one case, a school was operating in a space designed for a retail store, the report says.

The schools were largely allowed to self-report that they were in compliance with city regulations, the report says, increasing the possibility that students were being ill-served without proper oversight.

'Self-certification without review to verify that the certifications are factual increases the risk that federal funds intended to allow children from low-income families to attend private schools will result in some students attending schools that are not in compliance with the District law', the report says. "

No One More Red White and Blue

To Prove I'm as American as anyone...I just wanted to show you guys my new lapel pin...



I can hide behind the flag, too...

"The Sick Old Man"

Turns out, the European economy doesn't suck afterall. It would be nice if we could learn something from them.

Who doesn't want to wear the ribbon?!!

Doesn't this nonsense remind you of the AIDS ribbon nazis from Seinfeld?

Otis!

Because it's Tuesday, thats why....

Hitchens Shrugs

Maybe if you didn't drink yourself into a coma, you would have thought this through, Chris.

A new low.

Well well well...you never can tell...

What depths will the queen of warm n fuzzy (as a case of anal warts) Michelle Malkin is willing to stoop to please her cryptofascist masters.

After extensive invesigations, involving the usual spurious research, specious claims about the cost of insurance in Baltimore, and the usual palette of fallacious argumentation, the tool of the Right declares the following:

1. Their neighbor is an "advocate" for "socialized medicine".
2. The family in question appear to be Democrats (They have a bumper sticker that reads 1-20-09, so you know what that means).
3. The family in question made "choices and it’s clear the Frosts have made [a] choice to invest in property and a business (You know-American Dream) but not in private health insurance".

Except that they did, of course, but that's hardly the point, right. And...

4. The left hates children.

See? Connect the dots...la la la la!

UPDATE: Malkin looks for insurance, and finds it...well, fucking expensive. An "I'm sorry for being such a shill" will do.

SPUTNIK

Okay.

If you were offended by Google's Sputnik art, you are a fucking moron.

When did Conservatives become such pussies?

One More Time

Jon Meacham again reminds us that a nation of Christians does not equal a Christian nation.

Read and read well, children.

Coalition of the Dwindling

Yes, its true: We are the last people on the planet to realize that this thing is unwinnable.

Cop/Killer: A Question?

how the folks making the specious anti-gun control arguments after Virginia Tech would (or could) reconcile those feelings with the fact that the guy that just mowed six kids was a fucking cop?

Just curious...

This is what you want, this is what you get...

This is not just the title of a kick ass PiL record, but the thesis of Daniel Johnson's newest piece on the Anti-Government Rhetoric of the far right.

Good Stuff.

The Long and Bloodsoaked Road

Of course, its not really possible to laugh too much when there is so much crying to do.

PLAY IT SAFE! 1-800-SAFEBODY! PLAY IT SAFE!

"We insist that everybody who drives a car has insurance," Romney said in an interview. "And cars are a lot less expensive than people."

After watching Sicko, I wondered about how the Hillary plan would work out: I mean, one can hardly call the kind of HMO money she raked in from lobbyists a sign of impending "socialized medicine". The HMO's are not going to pay for their own obsolescence, right?

Evidentally, the Hillary plan is a lot like the Romney plan:

"Despite all that, experts say Clinton's plan borrows heavily from one Romney signed into law when he was governor of Massachusetts, which made the liberal state the first in the United States with near-universal health insurance.

That similarity could be fodder for Romney's rivals vying to be the 2008 Republican presidential nominee.

'Hillary's plan is just like the Massachusetts plan. There's not a whole lot of difference', said Jonathan Gruber, a Massachusetts Institute of Technology economics professor who was an adviser to Romney on the state's health care reform law.

Like Clinton's plan, the law Romney signed in April 2006 is underpinned by an 'individual mandate' compelling people to buy health insurance. Both plans entail subsidies and government regulations...".

Ahhha! So, in effect, the way to insure all Americans have access to medical care is to make it illegal to not have health insurance, a gift to the HMO's.

Jesus Christ. How "progressive".

http://www.mediafire.com/?023cydmxzuf

Pro-Life

I'm sure that this has come up somewhere else, but I'd like to point out that Mr. Compassionate Conservatism, Mr. Pro-Life, decided that conscious children, out of the womb and already in a world of hurt due to the lives they were born into, aren't worth helping, or saving.

For those of you who still rock the Bush/Cheney stickers, even after he sent 4000 grand worth of your sons, daughters, moms, dads needlessly, capricously, and cynically to their deaths: Is it not painfully, blindingly apparent that this guy doesn't care about you or your family, and GOP, which hides behind his leg like a scared little boy, is finally willing to call bullshit.

Are you?

WHAT THE F#$K is up with the G-D@!#ED F#$KIN Bungals?/Here we go again?!?

"Defense still draft priority for Bengals

It's easy to speculate that offense is the route the Bengals will take with their first-round pick in April's NFL draft. The team's offense ranks 27th in the 28-team league. But don't be surprised if the Bengals use that first-round pick on the same type of player they used it on last season - a run-stuffing, pass-rushing defensive lineman.

"Our (defensive) priorities, in free agency and the draft, are defensive line, inside linebacker, safety and we'd like to get another corner," coach Dave Shula said Wednesday. "But, probably No. 1 is the defensive line."

The Bengals will have the No. 1 overall pick if they lose to New Orleans Sunday, and guesses are they'll go with San Diego State running back Marshall Faulk, if they keep the pick. But the Bengals' defense, ranked 18th overall, has its troubles, too. And most of it is up front.

Nose tackle Tim Krumrie has signed on for his 12th year in 1994, but coaches want to use the veteran (he'll be 34 next season) in spots, rather than relying on him all game. The right end position is still unsettled, though starter George Hinkle has signed a contract for next season. Rookie left tackle John Copeland, the Bengals' first-round pick in 1993, has come on, playing both tackle and end positions. But he can't do it by himself.

The problems have shown up in the team's play against the run. The Bengals rank 27th, giving up 142.9 yards a game. That's 32 more than the NFL average.

"What we lack at the line of scrimmage is explosion," said defensive coordinator Ron Lynn. The Bengals can get help on the defensive line through free-agency, rather than the draft. However they do it, it is clear that they need help.

"Unless (rookie) Ty Parten (out with an injured thumb) comes back and rapidly develops, unless Mike Frier comes back stronger and more explosive, I think we're going to have to seek help other places," Lynn said. "We need to get some down guys who can stop the run and rush the passer. And both of those need explosion."

One of the top college defensive linemen mentioned in draft talk is Ohio State's Dan Wilkinson, a 6-foot-5, 300-pounder. But Wilkinson is only a sophomore. Experts rate him a top five pick if he decides to enter the draft.

General manager Mike Brown has said he wants a "sparkler," a player who can make a difference. Many define that as a "touchdown-maker," a quarterback, running back or wide receiver. But the Bengals showed in the last draft, when they used the No. 5 pick overall to take Copeland, that they believe good defensive linemen are hard to come by, too.

"You want to build a good offense or a good defense, I think it all starts right there, in the line," said Bob Karmelowicz, the team's defensive line coach.

"I think we've gotten to the level that we can be a little more specific in identifying needs, not just 'Hey, anybody is an upgrade."-John Donovan

The above article, published 30 December 1993 in the Cincinnati Post, brings back the bad tidings of that most dreadful Holiday season, as does the above football card, during the dark time, when that horrible day in January when Stanley Wilson's Pre-Super Bowl Victory Party made him a sweaty, coked out MIA and Krumrie's leg snapped like a matchstick, conspired, once again, to make Joe Montana the Great Satan of Cincinnati Professional Sports for all time (He still looks Manilow, the fucker) were still relatively close in our collective rearview, as was a winning season in 1990. The Free fall, by 1993, was already a cruel joke turned bleak reality by this point.

Nearly twenty years on from our last Super Bowl appearance, and four years into Marvin Lewis's tenure, when things seemed to be turning around, the question has to be asked: What size tanker requires this long to turn? In 2005 (I have the fucking shirt), we won the AFC North, yet, based on Monday Night's Abortion, we are going in the wrong direction.

To be sure, the defense is decimated (Medieu Williams can't be everywhere), but what I found frustrating-nay, infuriating, how under prepared, sloppy, and unprofessional they seemed as a team, as though the whole lot of them couldn't keep their heads in the game. Blown converages, missed blocks, sloppy pass routes and the abysmal special teams, all leading to the horrible conclusion: The Bengal has no stripes, so to speak, and we quite a bit farther away from renewed Glory than we were in '05, when it seemed all but a matter of time-a season, tops. This was perhaps, supposed to be the year. But in the stark relief our Bengals were viewed next to the dynastic juggernaut that is the Patriots(more later)[...]

Later:

...we are damn sight farther off from that goal than most of us knew (or would admit).

A faithful reader, writing Bengals fan living in the Denver Area, admonished me for, well, the admonishment of another reader about a lack of faith in the beloved Bengals, and I promised to correct this contradiction

Why does it seem like the Bengals beat themselves? This is the unfathomable. How come they beat themselves? I firmly believe that, when they bring their A game, they can play and beat anyone, and yet, they seem to be phoning it in, like a team with a massive inferiority complex, and instead of using that to get scrappy and prove everybody wrong, its like they just kick a pebble, and skulk on home, murmuring how "nobody loves them"or some shit like that.

Don't get me wrong: This city loves its Bengals, and have been, for most part, patient-but the thing that separates The Nasty from somewhere like Chicago or Boston, who have dealt with disappointment for, in some cases, generations, is that the whole town is like this. The whole town has a chip on its shoulder, and for all the wrong reasons. The Bengals are of Cincinnati, and embody its best-and worst, tendencies.

The worst tendency here is that nothing brings the city together. Ever. There's nothing to do downtown, for the most part. The businesses all left. There's no jobs, and so, there's the crime factor. The riots tore whatever sense of unity we had apart, and now, all there is rancor, with the vilest shit imaginable spilling from the entitled cupcake suburbs towards anything living, working, or being in the city proper.

Who knows? I'm out of explanations at this point. Suspensions have hurt, sure, but that's just part of the picture. Its like the Bengals can't escape the gravitational pull of their past suckiosity, and no matter how good or how talented they are, they still don't believe that they are capable of anything but, really believe it.

But what are you gonna do? If you love something, you have to be there, and tell 'em to quit fucking around, support them, help them get better. For the Bengals Nations, there is a certain "suck fatigue" to be sure, and dark memories of embarrassment, but we hung in there?

Let's hang in there. And tell our boys to QUIT FUCKING AROUND.

The Decider and the Decided

Just when you thought that the Mesopotamian MisAdventure, sure to known to school children across the world in history texts as "Bush's Clusterfuck" couldn't get anymore cluster-fucked, Seymour Hersh reminds us "Hey...we haven't even bombed Tehran yet".

Evidentally, this is a fore gone conclusion, a certainty, and for those who thought that President Shit for Brains was lame duck, and he'd punched himself out, and that impeaching his dumb ass would just be divisive...How about Iranian Troops streaming across the border of Iraq? We can't even control the insurgents, and you want to add pissed off Professionals to this mix?

Meanwhile, the Democrats, who are evidentally not prepared to say that troops will be gone by 2013, must have counted on this contigency.

At what point does someone in Congress do something about this? I mean, I, like many Americans, wait, with dread, everyday, to see if this idiot's going to do something rash and stupid(er) than Iraq. Looks like we're gonna get that, too.

The fact is, folks, we can't afford a war with Iran, either in terms of money or soldiers. We don't have enough. So why aren't we trying to talk our way out of this?

Because we have the Decider for another year, that's why! And no doubt, this asshole will slide out of office, with no remorse, cut the ribbon on his Presidential Library, without ever being held accountable for the worst fuckups in American History.